


Mission: Hall Closet

by WyattM



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Animal rehoming, Established Relationship, Inappropriate comments, M/M, Mentions of pokemon death, Post-UB
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 08:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12553748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WyattM/pseuds/WyattM
Summary: The Kahuna of Ula'ula and the top field agent of the International Police face off against a closet ariados.





	Mission: Hall Closet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brickinthewall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brickinthewall/gifts).



> Content warning: Mentions of sexual activities, no actual sexual content. Mentions of pokemon death and dismemberment. Swearing.

"We can't keep living like this KR," the Kahuna crossed his arms, leaning back on the cheap plastic couch the Alola police force supplied as standard office furniture,"You _have_ to agree."

"I disagree, I think we have reached a reasonable accord and provided everyone minds their boundaries, we can continue on with our lives quite smoothly," Looker replied from where he sat at the desk, checking his email.  The two argued this point almost every morning since Looker had... _ahem_ ... _reappeared_ in his former partner's life.  They never reached a conclusion, and by late afternoon the topic was typically discarded for other discussions (which tended to revolve around one of them looking lovely, or the station's status as "open" being modified to "on-call only", or of the temperature being unreasonably _warm_ and Nanu's shirt looked a bit too tight and perhaps he would be more comfortable _without_ it).  Looker held confidence that the topic would slip both their minds by evening, as it tended to.

Nanu groaned, picking up the coffee mug in front of him, "You can't be serious"

"It seems quite reasonable to me, all things considered."  The Interpol agent couldn't be phased.  He made a career of not being phased.  He wasn't phased in the face of Team Galactic, he wasn't phased taking down the Seven Sages, and he certainly wouldn't be phased by his former partner's demands.  100kr, civilian moniker "Mr. Looker", special agent of the International Police, was not a man of phasing.

"100kr, there is an ariados _living_ in our closet.  In what world is that reasonable?"

He was not _phased_ per say by the ariados, who had rehomed itself into the custodial closet between the main lobby of the station and the back office the Kahuna had converted into a makeshift bedroom.  But the collective inhabitants of the Po Town police station had seemed to come to an settlement over the matter.  While the agent and his cohabitant had to make certain _conciliations,_ they were not exorbitant by any means.  The two merely lost use of the hall closet, along with a stack of sheets of questionable caliber, cleaning agents that Nanu would not utilize anyway, a few potions, and a beach towel with a cartoon character on it (belonging to Acerola, but war does have its innocent bystanders and this cannot be helped).  In context with the size of the spider, these losses could be justified.

"It remains steadfast in the closet and keeps a mind on its own business, we really cannot complain."  He shut his laptop before a nearby meowth took the conversation as an excuse to nap on the keyboard.

"Nope, can't complain at all about a wild pokemon just living on the premises," Nanu sighed, taking a sip of coffee.

The meowth lunged for Looker's lap instead, earning an instinctive block by the former agent and falling to the floor instead.  "Well, it seems to have taken a cue from a certain collection of others."

"Those are _Persian's_ , they aren't wild.  They _live_ here, rightfully.  The Tapu knows, they wouldn't know how to survive if nobody put food in their bowls."

"And yet they have survived up until my arrival regardless," Looker scanned for an incoming meowth ambush and, spying no threat, reopened his laptop.  He really did need to finish his mission reports today.  Chief Anabel left over a dozen messages on his cell phone over the last few days in regards to some missing paperwork, or perhaps an upcoming mission, or perhaps ordinary curiosity of where he had disappeared to between missions.  He hadn't checked yet, it was somewhere on his to-do list.  Somewhere higher than disturb a _peaceful_ ariados living in the closet.

Nanu snorted in disagreement, though he took a sip of his coffee in lieu of a retort.  Looker went back to checking his email, though he had to pick the laptop up before an unseen meowth could lunge its way onto the favorite napping spot.  Perhaps the emails would have to wait until later, if the two decided to have a coffee elsewhere.  The Pokemon Center should have wifi.  The other ones tended to, though Looker hadn't made it that far out of the station as of late.

"Fuck it, we're doing something about it," Nanu put his mug down with a thud, the splashes adding to the other coffee stains that painted the thin plastic table.

" _Pourquoi?"_ Looker nearly dropped his laptop, fumbling to keep it both in his hands and away from the meowth that had taken residence on the desk in front of him, " _You_ cannot be serious!"

"Cripes, we went up against an ultrabeast _twice_.  We can get rid of a damn spider," he reiterated with the determination fitting for an elite agent of the International Police, however former that status might be, "C'mon."

The active agent shook his head in furious desperation, "What could I possibly do to help?"

"Backup," Nanu opened one of the desk drawers at the desk and dug through the pile of assorted junk.  Arguably, every drawer in the station had obtained the status of 'junk drawer'.  His tendency to compile junk where ever he felt had extrapolated in his time after the International Police.  Looker had a mass station reorganization on his to-do list, but it somehow slipped his mind every time he was in Alola.

"Have you forgotten I hold no pokemon as of late?  You seemed to be quite knowledgeable in the matter some months ago for no well and explained reason."

In fact, Looker hadn't received his promised explanation yet of how a local community leader had so much _recent_ knowledge of International Police business.  Nanu had deferred the conversation several times for more pressing business, such as relieving the agent of his tie and inspecting the area between his ear and his shoulder.  Looker vowed to put that higher on the to-do list, somewhere after stalling this ariados business but perhaps before giving his former coworker any more carnal knowledge.

Nanu looked up, gesturing to the mass of meowth lying about the linoleum tile like a pride on the savannah before continuing his excavation of the junk drawer, "Pick one, not like you're short on options."

"I cannot be expected to instruct an untrained pokemon in offense against a monstrosity of that caliber!"

The Kahuna groaned again, dropping a mag light in the other man's lap as he stood up, "Then hold the Tapu-damned flashlight for me."

"I- I- do not think this is perhaps such an intelligent strategy!"

Nanu grabbed him by the upper arm and wrenched him in the direction of the back hallway, ending the agent's effective paralysis.  "Got a better one?"

"Allow to continue on in undisturbed existence!  O-o-or call that delinquent young man that seems to find his way here on the regular, he _enjoys_ bugs.  He could make a _fine_ trainer for it!"  There was no amount of dead weight that could halt the Kahuna from dragging his associate towards the dreaded closet.

"Yeah, let's give Guzma something that'll make it harder to keep a handle on him, real good strategy," he rolled his red eyes as he fumbled for the hall light as they went, "Sometimes I'm worried knowing you're interpol's _best_ , you know that right?"

"You are the one who insists he is turning the new leaves over, so to speak."

"Yeah we both know his leaf ain't all the way on the other side yet," he stopped in front of the door, deliberating on one of a few ultraballs pulled from his pocket, "Get the door, will you?"

"I am holding the flashlight," Looker reminded, shaking his head and turning the mag light on with a click.

Nanu stared the man down, with the intensity of a former

"This is an important position, no?  I shall be compromised with the door."

" _Fine_ , I'll get it," he decided on a pokeball, putting the rest in his pocket, "Just give me a second."

With a click and a flash, he released Honchkrow from his pokeball. The massive bird squawked, flapping its wings and threatening to show Looker out of the way.  It didn't much care for the agent, and Looker was forever thankful Nanu obtained him after his career in the International Police.  He pecked at the air in front of his knees when the flapping proved to be a minor deterrent, giving the man an excuse to jump back a few steps.

An _excuse._  100kr, agent of the International Police, was not phased by birds much like he was not phased by the ariados in the closet.  The hall was a tight squeeze and the battle would go more smoothly without the three standing on top of each other.

Looker aimed his flashlight at the bird's head, gripping it like a club in an attempted display of dominance anyway.

" _Behave_ ," Nanu rolled his eyes, "Both of you."

Looker scowled at Honchkrow as it turned, disregarding him to focus on the door.  "We should review the plan."

"I'm gonna open the door.  Honchkrow is gonna battle it down and then I'll catch it.  Then we're gonna go somewhere far from here and release it into the wild where it belongs.  Kanto, ideally."

"I am not taking that to Kanto with me, if that is your ultimate implication."

"It'll be in a ball, it can't hurt you there. Besides, you like poison types."

" _Zeroes_ , I will do many things out of my love for you but I feel there is a certain level of self respect I must maintain in regards to what you ask-"

"All right, all right," the Kahuna waved his hands, "We'll work that out once we catch it."

"...Fine."

"Hold the damn light still."  Keeping himself behind Honchkrow, Nanu leaned for the doorknob, his hand shaking just a bit as he moved.  He hesitated when his hand reached the knob, for what felt like hours but in reality came to only a few seconds.  Before Looker could blink again, the Kahuna threw the door open.

The Ariados, who had been napping in a web laced between the ceiling and a mope, opened a purple eye at the shaking beam of light now focused on it.  If bugs could look confused, it certainly did.  A second purple eye appeared, seeming to glow with the mag light's moving reflection.

If anything, the spider was _larger_ than the last time the pair had laid eyes on it.  Almost double the size, in fact.

"HOLY SHIT," Nanu exclaimed, jumping back with enough force to hit the opposing side of the hallway, "AERIAL ACE!"

Honchkrow rocketed towards the ceiling and came down on the unsuspecting spider as it lifted a lazy arm to shield its eyes from the light.  In another instant, it fell from its web to the hall floor, unconscious.  Honchkrow squawked at his prey as he hovered above him, before swooping towards Looker in his own display of victory.  The agent dropped the mag light, ducking for cover.

"Knock it off, you two," Nanu returned the pokemon to his ball before he could dive bomb the other man a second time.  

"He started it."

The smaller man shook his head, but brought his attention back to the matter at hand.  "Well, so much for catching it."

"I believe it fainted," Looker decided as he picked the mag light back off the floor.

"Nah, shit, really?"  Running a hand through his hair and nudging the ariados with the bottom of his sandals, Nanu paused before announcing their next course of action. "Go get me a trash bag."

"Pardon?"

"We gotta get it out of here before it wakes up."

"I presumed we would give it to the meowth.  As dinner perhaps.  Persian finds all sorts of animals of this sort after all."

Just last week, in fact, Persian had woken Looker up with an absolutely delighted smile and _most_ of a rattata hanging out of her mouth.  Between the cleanup and the endless comments about the rather high-pitched _sound_ that had come from Looker's general direction (he hadn't shrieked, it must have been Persian), the agent now demanded in the inside half of the bed.  He never got it, because Nanu tended to fall to the floor in the middle of the night otherwise, but the demand remained nonetheless.

"No, she brings you dead shit because she doesn't think you can feed yourself... which is sorta true," the other man shrugged, "Anyway, it's poisonous, we can't let them eat it.  Gimme a trashbag, I don't think we have anything else big enough to put it in."

"I do not believe this-"

"Get me a trashbag, fool!" Nanu barked, his voice dropping to a familiar tone Looker remembered from his days as an International Police chief.

Instinctively, Looker took off towards the break room in search of the trash bags.  To his luck, Nanu had yet to finish tidying up the kitchenette and the full box still sat on the trashcan lid.  Unwilling to delayed them any more, the agent grabbed the entire roll and tossed it as soon as he darted out the door again.

Nanu caught the roll in one hand, tearing off the bag in the other.  He made quick work of containing the unconscious spider before attempting to lift the bag himself.  From his position several safe feet away, Looker could hear his back crack with sickening ominense.  "Fuck, this is heavy."

The agent grimaced.

"Sorry, KR," Nanu bemoaned, knowing that they next step of the plan did not need stating,  "Gonna need your help before my back goes out."

With a defeated sigh, Looker shuffled his way to the bagged spider, giving his companion a look that hopefully conveyed his unwillingness to go along with the plan as it stood.

Nanu returned with a look of apology, "I'll grab the front, just gimme a hand."

Nodding, the agent picked up one end of the bag with one hand (brandishing his flashlight like a club with the other while the other man took the other.  With a huff out of the aging Kahuna, the two lifted it off the floor and shuffled towards the lobby.  A herd of meowth greeted them, curious as to what the two men had been up to for the past half hour.  Nanu shouted and them to scram and nudged them gingerly with his feet, trying to keep them away from the pair as they slipped out the front door.  The midday sun was blinding in comparison to the station, causing Nanu to lose his grip on the bag.  The man hadn't seen the sun in, well, quite some time, longer than Looker.

The agent took the opportunity to carry the back toward the back of the building himself, freeing Nanu from any more responsibility with it and finishing their mission with a quick trip to the dumpster.

"Wait, where are you going?" Nanu asked, hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

Looker gestured behind back of the station with his flashlight.  The answer should have been obvious, but the other man had always had a soft spot for animals and perhaps this would be no different despite having eight legs and the capacity to kill them both in one bite.  "The dumpster."

"Oh hell no, that's not going into our dumpster."

"Well why not?" It seemed like a reasonable resting place for the creature. If it woke, it could scurry off and if not, it could entertain some garbodor at the waste treatment facility.  Besides, it really was quite heavy to carry very far.  It's growth had been uncontrolled.

"Because fool, trash day isn't until Thursday.  What's it gonna do when it wakes up?"

That... that was a very good point.

Nanu caught up with him, taking a heavy warmup breath before picking up his end of the trash bag.  "C'mon, it's going to Po Town."

"Is that far enough?"  In light of Nanu's suggestion, Kanto suddenly felt to be an extremely reasonable final home for the creature.

The Kahuna shrugged, shuffling down the path with both hands behind him, supporting the bagged spider.  "It can go fight some of the little punks that live up there.  It'll be entertained."

The two tried to hurry along, though stopping every few minutes for Nanu to catch his breath and readjust his grip on the bag.  Looker kept one hand firmly fixed on the mag light, just in case the ariados awoke.  To their fortune, there were no signs of movement.

"Cripes, I don't get how this sucker got so big in the first place," Nanu grumbled on one of their quick breaks, "All I have in that closet is bleach and old sheets."

Looker tried to take more of the load, though found it difficult to reposition himself one-handed. "Ah, I have been leaving it a plate of leftovers every night."

The front end of the back hit the ground, nearly causing Looker's wrist to dislocate in the process.

"You've been _feeding_ it?!" He spun around, mouth agape at the other man.

"Well, yes," the agent responded, fumbling to pick up the bag and keep his grip on the mag light before his wrist broke under the weight, "Lest it get hungry and go after... well, you."  

"I- I-" Nanu found himself at a loss for words, fumbling over them for a moment before shaking his head and turning to pick up the back again, "You know, never mind."

The continued their shuffle down the path in silence.  Looker tried to deduce the problem with his logic in this case, as his course of actions seemed appropriate.  The spider would try to eat one of them, and in this case, it would be Nanu.  Realistically speaking, Nanu was the easiest prey in the station.  And he'd gained some weight since his days as an agent, he would make a delectable snack.

"What is the issue?  I thought it was perfectly reasonable."

"KR, no wonder it didn't leave.  Or put up a fight.  It thinks it's a pet."

"I do not think it would simply make that assumption.  I was doing us both a favor and preventing you from becoming a meal, I believe some gratitude is perhaps in order."

"Jeez, are you sure you don't _want_ it?  You could use a partner anyway."

"We are not starting this again."  Looker's lack of pokemon accompaniment had become a rather hot button topic, much like the ariados in the closet issue.  The Kahuna dislike the idea of him going on missions without a partner, despite knowing full well he'd done so for the past several years with no issue.  Looker wouldn't be the top field agent if he needed a new partner that badly.   Besides, no partner would replace Croagunk, it would simply _slow him down and that was the final word on the matter he did not need a partner._ "I will drop it here."

"Hang on!" Nanu shot a glare over his shoulder, in fear of his wrists breaking, "We're here anyway, let's put it down and I'll get the gate."

They laid the bagged ariados on the ground, Looker shifting between feet and preparing his maglight.  He didn't _enjoy_ Po Town.  He'd prefer to accompany Nanu there yes, since the man's close proximity to the rather decrepit area shot holes in his nerves and his heart stopped every time Nanu reported on phone calls that he'd 'swung by there, the usual you know'.  Even better, he preferred not going to Po Town at all.

That said, he didn't want to waste any time in Po Town.  As soon as Nanu shoved the gate open, he scurried inside, dragging the bag behind him.  The Kahuna strolled behind him, eyeing the various punks hanging about, day drinking.

"Yo Uncle, what's in the bag?" one called out from the bed of a truck on cinderblocks.

"Nothing, kid," Nanu grumbled tearing open the backend of the trash bag, "Just leaving you a new friend."

"Aw shit! Why's that over here?!" The punks jumped to attention as Looker shook the still unconscious ariados out of the bag.

"Cause it's out cold, let Guzma take a look at it or something," the Kahuna shot back as the punk kids scattered, equally afraid of the massive spider.  He shook his head as they disappeared into the ramshackled Pokemon Center, desperate to find someone else to deal with the problem.   "Shit, I figured they'd like it."

Looker frowned.  "I thought we were not giving it to Guzma."

In fact, he'd been insulted for that suggestion.

"He ain't here anyway, Hala's got him busy with some crap last I checked," Nanu replied offhandedly, "You think I'm going to tell a bunch of teenagers we're dropping it here because we're scared it's going to murder us?"

"Well... I suppose that is a valid point." Reputation for the authority on the island was quite important.  Looker had noticed Nanu's reputation tended to prevent him from being needed for any trivial matters, as his time seemed far too valuable for the minor issues the other Kahunas dealt with on a regular basis.  He did appreciate the man going unneeded by everyone else.

"It doesn't look real bad anyway that it's not in the station.  And it went down easy enough.  This is overkill," he shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

The agent put his arm around the other man's shoulders, staring down at the unconscious ariados curled up at their feet.  "I suppose you are right.  Perhaps after that ordeal it deserves a happy life in accompaniment of one of the local delinquents."

The ariados's legs twitched.

Nanu and Looker exchanged panicked glances before turning and running out of Po Town as fast as their legs could manage.

\---

Nanu slumped down on the plastic sofa next to Looker, passing him a glass of water as he did.  Neither had yet to recover from their run across West Ula'ula and Looker in particular forgot how much his disliked sprinting.  A man of his age should not have to sprint anymore if he really must admit his age.

The both downed their glasses in a few short gulps, before sprawling across the sticky plastic in exhaustion.  The Kahuna slumped over on the other man, in preparation for the early afternoon nap he had yet to accomplish.  Victory could wait until after naps, Looker agreed, putting his feet up and shutting his eyes.

"Glad that's over with.  Thanks for helping," Nanu mumbled, wrapping his arms around the other man making himself comfortable on his shoulder.

The agent ran a hand through Nanu's hair in return.  "Of course.  Mission accomplished, we have recovered ownership of the hallway closet."

"Yup, can finally get around to," he yawned, breaking up his train of thought, "Putting some of this crap away."

The two started to drift off, the adrenaline of the past hour draining rapidly.  Looker began to dream of his reorganization project.  The return of the hall closet meant he could perhaps start to put away some of the files Nanu no longer needed or reviewed, and declutter the desk so perhaps he could properly answer his emails.  With a decluttered desk, he could even sort the junk drawers for a nice change of pace.  There was also the matter of all of his winter clothes, which would go unneeded while at home but still needed a proper place that was not a cardboard box underneath the bed.  Yes, that was it.  He could relocate the cardboard box into the hall closet and free up the under the bed space for the files and this would all work out beautifully unless-

"I do hope it did not lay any eggs."  Looker said with a start, wrenched out of his doze.

Nanu shot upright,  "Oh fuck."

"Perhaps we should check while we have the time to erm... handle the situation.  And before any eggs potentially hatch.  Go have a look-"

"You took flashlight duty, not me," Nanu cut him off, "You go look."

"I was _assigned_ flashlight duty, I did not elect to it," he argued, reminding him that his choice had been to leave the ariados in the closet.  Several baby spinarak, however, fell into a much different category, and now that the mother spider had departed they would need relocation as soon as possible.

"C'mon, I'll back you up," Nanu grumbled, standing and passing his companion the mag light from the coffee stained table.  "It's just eggs if it's anything at all."

Shaking in his socks and sandals, Looker allowed the other man to lead him back to the dreaded hallway by the hand.  The closet door had, thankfully, been shut behind them as they departed earlier, so at least Looker didn't have to worry about the eggs hatching in the meantime.  Hopefully Nanu had kept a good eye on the situation during the split second Looker departed for the trash bag.  He tended to have keen observations.  He would notice if any newborn spinarak had emerged from the closet.

Hopefully.  "How large are spinarak when they hatch?"

"Not big, don't worry," Nanu reassured him, though Looker had been hoping for the opposite.  Small spiders Nanu might have had a problem with seeing.  Given his tendency to avoid medical professionals he likely had not had an eye exam in quite some time, and he might not have seen small spinarak crawl out of the closet.  

Perhaps they were small enough to fit under the door, and were now loose in the station, lost without their mother and intent on finding a meal.  Perhaps newborn spinarak were like newborn ekans and had no control over their venom, giving them the power to kill a grown adult in one bite regardless of their intentions.  Perhaps they should have left the ariados.  "I-I- I- I- I do not think we should do this!"

"Cripes, KR, it's not as bad as the ariados," Nanu told him, putting his hand on the doorknob again.

Looker clicked the flashlight on, though he remained frozen in fear.  "Perhaps we should just review the island's budgets at the next civic meeting and then burn the station down.  I am sure your associate Mr. Guzma can assist us in that."

The Kahuna stared at him in disbelief momentarily before shaking his head and opening the door, "Just look it over, will you?"

Wincing, Looker shined his light on the contents of the closet.  Nothing but musty bedsheets, the remains of a web, the mop which sorely needed utilization around the station, and a stack of manilla (which ruined his fantasy about relocating the files from Nanu's desk, as the shelf lacked room for more manilla folders of old case files).  Granted, he wasn't sure what a spinarak egg looked like.  What if had the same color as musty bedsheets?  The former agent certainly didn't fold anything.  Looker wouldn't be able to tell from a simple visual if the sheet pile contained eggs.

"Say, what am I supposed to be looking for exact-" Something clamped down on Looker's shoulder from behind him.

As an elite agent of the International Police, Looker prided himself on his reflexes.  He had excellent reflexes- he could stop an ambush before thinking on the matter.  In addition, as an elite agent of the International Police, he kept himself in peak physical condition (not only because it was specified in the terms of his contract, but largely because it was specified in the terms of his contract).  Given his regular exercise and his excellent reflexes, the agent went with the most reasonable response his body would automatically provide at the potential of a newborn deadly spinarak landing on his shoulder.  Looker, elite agent of the International Police, turned on his heel and threw the hardest punch he could muster.  

It careened squarely with Nanu's chest with a sickening crack and sent the Kahuna flying into the wall opposing the hall closet.

"DIOS MÍO!" Looker had to consciously keep himself from fainting at the realization of the events that had unfurled.

Nanu cursed loudly, doubling over his in crumpled heap on the tile.  "MOTHER- _FUCKER_!" he wheezed, "I forgot how strong you are."

"SORRY!"  Looker dropped to the floor in front of him, trying to recall his first aid training.  He needed to check for broken bones and damaged tissue but he also needed to reassure Nanu that he did not mean to hit him.  And then they would need bandages and an ambulance and perhaps he had collapsed a lung and he just _punched_ Nanu.  "I am sorry!  I am so sorry I did not mean to just do that!"

"Fuck," Nanu repeated, clutching his chest, "Fuck me, that was my bad.  Thought I'd prank you and it backfired.  Fuck…"

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE?!" The guilt ended abruptly, and Looker crossed his arms as he fumed red.

The other man flashed a shit eating grin, "Thought it'd be funny...  I checked it out when I went to get water, there's nothing in there."

"That- that was very rude of you, you realize!" The agent pointed an accusing finger at his companion.  "That was absolutely not funny in the slightest!"

"That would have been _hilarious_ if you weren't good in a fight," Nanu corrected, his hand still gripping the spot Looker had hit, "Though were you really just going to _punch_ a spinarak?"

"It seemed like a reasonable course of action, yes!" His face went redder, though less from anger and more from embarrassment.

Shifting to his knees, Nanu leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, "You're adorable, you know that right?"

The agent swore he would not let his anger diminish over a kiss.  This happened too often.  So often he still had not gotten an explanation over why exactly his former associate knew so much about the International Police.  That needed to go back on the to-do list, along with the unanswered emails.  "You are mean."

"And you're very brave for looking for spinarak eggs for me," the smaller man shot back, scooting close enough to give him another kiss, "Even if that could have killed me if your aim was two inches higher."

"I am sorry, I truly did not intend to hit you that amount of force."  He could still pout through an apology.

"Relax, not like that's the first time you've done that to me.  I'm not made of glass," he reached his arms around the other man.  "Sorry for pranking you."

Looker hugged him back.  He could pout through a hug as well, though he had a hard time staying truly angry.  He felt truly awful about how he had reacted to the prank.  Really though, it had been rather thoughtless of Nanu to assume he would not react in a manner befitting a member of the International Police.

"Son of a bitch!" Nanu wheezed again, squirming out of Looker's grip and grabbing at his chest, "Cripes…"

"What is wrong?!" the agent jumped to attention again, forgetting entirely that he was angry.  

Nanu simply shook his head, doubling over and wincing.  Looker attempted to pull the man to his feet, but the Kahuna couldn't stand.  He nearly toppled over, trying to breathe.

"I think you cracked a rib actually…" he groaned, bracing himself on Looker, "Fuck…"

With that knowledge, their victory nap was relocated to the emergency room waiting area at the hospital in Malie City.  Nanu gave the nurses a half-baked excuse that their Kahuna had been injured on official Kahuna business, and the agent less than helpfully elaborated that it had involved an entire swarm of onix-sized ariados (not to worry, the problem had been handled and they should think no further on the issue).  Not much napping could be done, but Nanu could lay in Looker's lap and Looker could kiss him for being brave about the spider.  Once and awhile he remembered to less than helpfully remind his companion that he should not, under any circumstances, sneak up on him (to which Nanu rolled his eyes and mumbled about how he wouldn't forget this time).

Before they saw the doctor, however, the two agreed that they would just call Guzma the next time a bug-type took up residence in the station.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween!


End file.
